你希望看见一个不同，一个坚强的我，对吧？











我没做傻事，也没放弃学业。知道，要进大学，不管考得上吗，都得努力。你也希望看见我进那所大学吧。











i'll be a stronger person and better person.So i'm worthy for whoever comes by or comes back.











go back and read that magazine that used to be lying on your table in hall. read the articles on "what Wo(men) want",and the last fourth page,talking about imperfections and relationships between couples.











The quote at the bottom of the page,i hope it can enlighten you.











i dont care what you think. Even if you have such low esteem,thinking you're not good enough,i tell you again-i think you are good enough for me.











NO. it's not "i think you're good enough for me." you ARE good enough for me. i have choices i can make,and i decide for myself who is worthy enough for me. and yup,you are. You are not perfect,but hey,GUESS WHAT? i dont believe there's a single perfect person in the world. Face it,they dont exist.











i will keep telling you this,until it is burned into your mind.





-i am willing to brave through everything with you. but it's up to you to acknowledge and accept the very same fact.Remember what you asked me,whether i'll still keep you company when life gets dull and boring in future?i said yes,and i mean it.





-maybe as what people said,what i'm giving is unconditional love. But i dont care what others think.Be it just like what they said or not,i know what i want to do for you and how i feel about you. No one can ever teach me that.





-i still believe in fate.no matter what you said.





-and i still believe in you.











As i said,i wont go chase you back already.yup.





i wont restrict myself from other guys,but if i dont have feelings for them,too bad.i wont go a step further from friends with them.





Remember you said,you wanted things to look forward to? we have our overseas trip,outings,learning stuff together,finding ANOTHER common interest etc. so many things. and our future especially.











i thought about it hard,and realized,why i kept hanging on those times even though it wasnt easy?coz i really love you. i dunno,but what i feel is love. i dont have to show you every small little thing i did for you,bcoz if i'm lucky you'll notice it and appreciate it,if not,i should not complain.i did what i wanted to do for you. most importantly, TRUE LOVE IS NOT FOR SHOW.











i hope you can think back to everything we went through.









things you have,learn to appreciate. continuing on the journey to seek perfection,it'll just be a vicious cycle.coz no one's perfect.and even when you found an almost perfect person,what are the chances you stand when you yourself are imperfect and cannot get over this kind of thinking?when you're settled,maybe then you'll understand.i'm not trying to be a saint here,as if i understand everything,but that's what it is. there's no point forcing you because you have to learn it yourself.sometimes if only you dont read too deeply into things,things would turn out okay.




you think too much,expect too much. learn not to expect so much from others.i know you're a perfectionist but in this world perfectionists never stand to gain coz nothing's perfect.Going into continuous relationships until you're settled wont help.you know that.cause at the end of it,you'll still be none the wiser.more broken hearts.



Remember you said before? "i admire your good points while being able to endure your weaknesses." Dont keep saying you gave me a year to learn blah blah blah,yet i still never learn,how long do i have to wait for you blah blah.Oh,so you think people easily figured out what the other person wants in the relationship,and the next day,ta-daaa! they changed?So what about married couples? You think your parents dated for a week,then either one of them felt that the other person needs to change to suit himself or herself,so took them a few days to change,then ok le,they got married?IT TOOK THEM MANY MANY YEARS.even till now,i believe your parents,or any other parents stil quarrel,but yet they stay together and work out their differences slowly.that's where i think you're weak.the moment you think we're gonna have a problem,you shun it and think break up is a solution.





Basically,think about it. Arent you just running away from reality? running away from fears and hardships,not willing to face them. i'm here to go through it with you,to help you,but do you even know that?







Look back at yourself.Sometimes have you wondered it's not that i havent changed,but you dont take notice of the change,or the process. it's actually your own mind limiting you,if you only choose to focus on my bad points.



i want to be there for you.maybe i'm just plain dumb or what,but i dont freaking give a damn to what other people think.So what? i can tell you straight in the face,this is what i want,how i feel. i WANT TO BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE.I KNOW HOW I FEEL TOWARDS YOU.
and..get it right.

i dont have lack of male species around me. but i have the choice ya?i choose who i want to be with,out of my own will.no one can force me.
if you happen to read this,then fine. this is just food for thought for you. No need to send me crappy emails.
if you know there's mistakes,let's solve it together. After all,our purpose is to learn.
while love is a joy to experience, i believe that love can change a person for the better.
but also, love should not take away the 'essence' of the person's true being & soul.
otherwise, what's all that crap about accepting someone for who he/she is?
right? if i wanna be prettier,i'm not only doing it for you,it benefits myself too.
& arent we all materialistic & consumerists?
at the end of the day, if we were to reflect wad we've done wrong, there's so many things right?
so we're not perfect.
but thats ok.
we were put on earth to learn & learning is a non-stop thing.

"dont worry.As long as we're together,we'll be alright." She says at.1:47 PM